This past weekend, my girlfriends and I  hooked up for a chick flick, “He’s Just Not That Into You”. In this film, Gigi, played by Ginnifer Goodwin, is the “desperate” girl who will try to find any and every excuse as to why these men she goes out with continues to reject her by not following up after the date. So, it got me thinking about writing this article on How NOT to come off as desperate when dating.

Guys! Don’t be that desperate one. As cute as it is, don’t call her the second you drop her off, and don’t text her either! You might have thought the date went well, but maybe it didn’t go as well as you thought. Wait. Give it some time. If she wasn’t all that into you, you’ll just come off as “desperate”. Besides, let her wait just a little bit. I’m not talking the “3-day rule”. But call her the next day and not when you first get up.

Here’s a list of “don’ts” so you don’t come off as desperate:

• DON’T tell her over and over on your first date how beautiful she is or how into her you really are. A compliment or two, fine…leave it at that. It’s very annoying for a guy to throw himself at you on the first date. I once went out with a guy that kept staring at me and telling me over and over how beautiful I was and how much he couldn’t believe he was out with me. What a turn off!
• DON’T ask her at the beginning or the middle of the date when you can see her again.
• DON’T try sticking your tongue down her throat. I remember on another date, the guy who I had just met, wanted to make out at the restaurant and when we left the restaurant. He also thought he’d try licking my neck! Um, hello…it was our first date, I wasn’t all that into him, and I went home and called my girlfriends to tell him I felt like he was trying to eat my face and my neck! Blah. It was gross. I couldn’t get home fast enough to wash my face and neck and brush my teeth. While he did attempt to stick his tongue down my throat and try to lick my neck, I did push him off of me and told him straight up that it was a bit much. Guys, a simple kiss at the end of the date is just enough. You can let her know there’s chemistry by making eye contact, opening her car door or a restaurant door, touching her shoulder or hand when you laugh or talk, just something subtle.
• DON’T try prolonging the date if she doesn’t seem that into you or you’re not sure if there’s really chemistry coming from her.
• DON’T ask her if she has a “back-up” plan in case the first date didn’t work. WE ALWAYS have a back-up plan for first dates, so just assume she does and don’t ask.
• DON’T talk about having her meet your parents and close friends right away. That’s a sure sign you’re already trying to plan your wedding with her.

AND WHATEVER YOU DO….DON’T ACT LIKE GIRLS WOULD. Don’t ask a lot of questions, don’t come off desperate and ask when the next date will be or when she’ll call, don’t try to make it into something it’s really not, and don’t wait by the phone all day for her call.

  Valentine’s Day is just 10 days away men! Don’t be one that waits until the last minute to buy your girlfriend, fiance, or wife a gift. And DON’T be one of “those guys” who does the typical box of chocolates and/or flowers. Tell her she means more than that. Here are just a few Valentine’s Day gift ideas that would make wonderful gifts for that special someone.

• You can not go wrong with the little blue box and white ribbon. Yes, I’m talking about Tiffany & Co. Every girl loves it! And giving Tiffany doesn’t mean you have to break the bank. Try giving her silver Tiffany bead earrings, a Return to Tiffany mini double heart tag pendant or how about a Tiffany 1837 ring, any of these for just $100 each. If you want to buy her something from Tiffany & Co. under $100, how about some Tiffany perfume?
• If Tiffany & Co. is something she desires but it is a little more than you’d like to spend, you can try Blue Nile. They have some sterling silver knock off jewelry items at a much more reasonable price. For example, their Sterling Silver Graduated Bead Necklace is only $60 and this same item at Tiffany & Co. will run $250. (*This is what I picked out when I was in Tiffany a few weeks ago with my guy and I LOVE it. She will too, even if it’s not Tiffany.)
• Don’t think you can afford Coach? Of course you can. Any girl will like to have Coach, even if it’s just a key fob (their fancy way of saying “key chain”). How about a Pave Signature Heart locket. She can insert a picture of you and carry her keys on it. This will cost you only $58. The Coach Legacy Perfume is also a great pick! One of my faves. It comes in a purse travel size for just $45 or a larger size, 1.7 oz. for $75. She’s sure to love anything from Coach!
• Another favorite of mine is a new line Victoria Secret is pushing called Sexy little things NOIR. This smells wonderful and sexy! Only $39 for a 1.7 oz. bottle of perfume. Right now, you can get a free bottle of the Sexy little things NOIR lotion if you purchase the perfume online by visiting the Victoria Secret website and using coupon code NOIR at checkout. I’ve also tried the scented body powder too. It makes your skin smell sexy and feels smooth. This is only $25!
• Don’t think you want to buy perfume or jewelry? How about giving the gift of a massage. A girl loves a good body massage. Or, if your budget can afford it, try a couple’s massage together. That’s romantic and you’ll both walk away feeling great! 
• If money isn’t an object, fly her off for the day somewhere on a whim. Don’t tell her where you’re going, just tell her what she’ll need to wear or bring. Fly to the next state over for dinner and entertainment. Doing something on a whim is what anyone would find exciting, especially on Valentine’s Day. You can even check out last minute travel deals online or even try something where you name your price for flights and hotels, like Priceline.
• If you can’t afford anything this year because money is just too tight, stay in and make it romantic. Get some candles and soft music and cook dinner together! Then get cozy and watch a movie together or play an intimate game together. You can find these types of games at adult stores. Maybe even get some strawberries and champagne and enjoy them in bed.

OH! And whatever you do decide to do guys, DON’T FORGET THE CARD! Women love getting cards….whether it’s a funny, romantic, whatever….get a card and write something meaningful in it!!!

Has someone ever come into your life directly or indirectly that would be considered a “stalker”? What defines the term stalker? Well according to an online dictionary it says “Someone who prowls or sneaks around, usually with unlawful intent”. How do you deal with a stalker? Well, if the case is extreme and someone is following you or watching your every move, naturally your first instinct should be to file a report with your local police department. You can also get a restraining order from the court against this person.

In a previous post, I discussed the unfortunate situation I had to deal with, regarding “Scott”. “Scott” had multiple restraining orders just in the State of Arizona alone and God only knows how many in other states he’s lived in. With this type of person, a restraining order is a waste of time. The type of person “Scott” is, he’s probably only harmful to himself mentally. His personality consists of very low self-esteem, bordem with life - having no purpose or direction or meaning in life, and as a person, really worth nothing and means little to nothing to those around him, therefore he “stalks” those he does comes across because he’s got nothing on his side but time.

When you deal with someone like “Scott”, you just ignore the person if they call, email, text, whatever. In my case, he continues to harass and stalk any way he possibly can on sites like this one and on social media sites such as Facebook. Trying and exhausting himself to still remain a part of my life. I’ve learned to just ignore him as it likely hurts someone like him rather than give him the time of day to even acknowledge him. You can too learn to ignore the person stalking you if it’s harmless. Remember, if it’s a more serious case of stalking, you will definitely want to get the police involved.

It’s much easier to put someone like this out of your life and not give them any of your time. Life goes on for most, but unfortunately for individuals like “Scott”, they’ll always stay stuck in the same place they are in life, never moving on, never finding happiness.

Unfortunately, I found myself in a relationship last year that turned out to be nothing but a sham, a lie, a facade. Someone entered my life and took full advantage of the situation - me, my family, and friends. After 10 months of dating someone who I thought was someone else, the lies and deceit started to unravel at a very rapid pace. Once I found out the lies “Scott” had been living behind for the past 10 months, I did a background check on him. My regret? I only wish I would have done it sooner. So to those who are thinking of getting into a relationship, Delicious Amy highly urges you to do a background check. You don’t necessarily have to pay for one. There are a few options to find information out about someone online for free. Here’s a few websites you can use to do a background check (these are for the state of Arizona so you might want to use your resources in your own state):

• AZ Maricopa County Superior Court - http://www.superiorcourt.maricopa.gov/docket/JusticeCourtCases/. Check civil, family, criminal, probate and justice while your there just by entering the name of the party you are looking for. This is free public information. This is where I located 4 restraining orders against “Scott” just in the state of Arizona alone. Wonder how many other restraining orders there are in other areas he had lived. I also found out that “Scott” had been previously married when he told me he hadn’t even come close to being engaged ever! His wife had the marriage annulled after just 6 short months…likely because he is a liar and a con-artist.
• Maricopa County Sherrif’s Office Sexual Offender list - http://az.gov/webapp/offender/searchName.do. This too is free public information. You’ll want to make sure he’s not on the sexual offender list.
• PeopleLookup People Search http://www.peoplelookup.com. While only certain information is free, it’s enough to confirm things like relatives or cities they’ve been known to live in. If you’ve talked with the person you’re interested in, you have likely gathered certain information like mother/father names, sibling information, where they’ve lived in the past. At least you’ll know if they’ve been honest with you. If you find information out on this site that doesn’t match, it doesn’t mean they are lying, you’ll just have to investigate further.

Basically, follow your instincts to start. Then use the tools above for a background check. If things seem fishy, if he/she lies or stumbles over their words or things just don’t match up to what they may have said in the past, then follow your gut and end the relationship or contact.

Ever wonder what brings someone to use a dating service or an online dating website? I asked 10 single people recently if they would be open to using a dating website and if so why would they find themselves registering with them and trying them out. 7 out of 10 said they would be open to and out of those 7, 5 had already given them a try previously or are currently registered with one. Their reason for giving “cyber-dating” a go? Because their occupation doesn’t give them an opportunity to date. Some work for themselves, some work with mainly women, and others just don’t mix personal with professional. *Note to self, good rule to follow (as it’s burned me in the ass before).

Ok, so me being single, I thought I’d give it a shot. I registered with 3 different online dating websites. Yahoo Personals, Match.com, and eHarmony. Yahoo Personals is going to run you about $29.99/mo. on a month to month basis and of course gets cheaper the longer you sign up. Match.com will cost about $34.99/mo. on a month to month basis and goes as low as $17.99/mo if you are willing to sign up for 6 months. eHarmony will cost you the most starting at $59.95/mo. on a month to month basis and goes as low as $19.95/mo. if you sign your life away for a 12-month committment. Yikes. That in itself is a bit scary.

Here were my findings:

Yahoo Personals came out at the bottom of my list. The selection wasn’t so hot. It’s basically a free-for-all type platform where you just write in what you want the world to know about you. The selection gets old and boring and it seems like it brings out the “desperate” in people. Sorry men, the last thing you want to do is to come off as “desperate”. However, the communication process gets a thumbs up. Just email the person with something original or send a generic message. Anxiously waiting for the month to be up so my ad comes down - I’ve already cancelled it.

eHarmony is over priced and showed me about 4-5 compatible matches a day. Either I’m not “compatible” with a lot of people with  my criteria or there aren’t many people who are in their network. The communication style is a royal pain in the ass. You basically ask questions back and forth and have to jump through hoops to communicate in your own words unless you choose and the person you are interested both select to communicate on “fast track”….allowing you to write freely back and forth. I thought the platform they use totally sucked too. Needless to say, I cancelled my subscription within the 3 day window of signing up and got my money back. This just wasn’t for me.

Match.com came out on the top by far. Best selection of men (can’t give an opinion of the women), most courteous men I’ve come across, and the communication system and platform are all very easy and user friendly. No jumping through hoops on this site. Reasonable monthly membership too. I signed up on a 3-day free trial and will actually keep my membership, at least for a month. I’ve also had a friend of mine who used this service and is now engaged.

So here’s my advice to the men out there on these sites:

1. Use a recent photo. Eventually the woman you’re interested is going to meet you and see that the photo you used of yourself from 15 years ago when you had a body (and hair) isn’t you today. You’re just setting yourself up. Don’t do it!
2. Don’t expect to be old, overweight and bald and ask and receive a young, beautiful, petite woman in return. It’s not happening and it’s not fair of you either. Young woman aren’t typically looking for “grandpa” to be their boyfriend, unless of course they want a sugar daddy.
3. Don’t come off as “desperate” after the first date. Now that doesn’t mean you have to abide by the “3-day” rule and not call for 3 days after the date, but don’t text and call her 100 times by the following day or tell her how madly in love you fell when you met her. Does this happen, oh yeah! Trust me, it’s happened. I was like “Is this guy for real?” and never called or emailed him again. Yikes!
4. Read the profile carefully. Get to know the person before you go out. You don’t want to be asking her all the questions that she answered in her profile. Get past the pictures of her and read up on her.
5. First date? Don’t ask her to coffee. This just shows her how cheap you are. If you’re interested, take her out to a nice dinner. Show her you want to get to know her and have a real interest. My rule, never ever consider someone if they ask you to “coffee”. That just equal cheap!
6. Dress to impress men! Doing the “casual” first date doesn’t mean wearing a boring t-shirt and jean shorts with dirty shoes. Gross. It’s the first impression and you only get one. Even if you’re going casual, at least wear a collared shirt and jeans.

So if you’re ready to try online dating, put some thought into what you’ll say in your profile. Maybe have a friend read it over and give you the thumbs up that it truly portrays who you are and upload a few nice recent photos of you. We don’t care to see your dog or your friends. We want to see you! Online dating doesn’t mean “desperate” as we head into 2009. It’s become more convenient so to say. Hand pick your dates and go for it!

DeLiCiOuS aMy is back and for the “guys” I’m sure you’ll be quite disappointed because it’s not the same steamy site it once was. But DeLiCiOuS aMy is back and I’m here to put you guys (and gals) in check.

You’ll find dating advice, dating do’s and don’ts, fashion advice, ideas for great dates, ideas for inexpensive but nice dates, reviews on dating sites, and it won’t be all too boring for you men, there will be sexy asian videos and pictures we think you’ll like, like this one below, Abbie Ratay. Isn’t she beautiful? See more of her at http://asianmodelsgallery.blogspot.com/2008/06/abbie-ratay-in-sexy-lingerie.html.

In addition to giving you helpful information when it comes to the opposite sex and dating, DeLiCiOuS aMy and her close pool of friends are known as a “seasoned” daters so together with my girlfriends, we can also answer questions from the readers and offer advice.